It was my birthday the other day and I had a lovely day thanks to my husband and little boy. During the day I was reminded of my previous Birthdays in Turkey along with all the other important days of the year that come by and how Birthdays in Turkey in the past hadn’t been that special!
I think like many women who have Turkish partners you soon find out that birthday’s, high days and holidays that are important to you are often not so important to your other half!
I remember before I moved to Turkey, sitting for hours on my Birthday and at Christmas cursing my husband and wondering why he hadn’t called or bothered to send anything. Hoping that there was a power cut and his phones battery had died!
Only to phone him and discover he had completely forgotten. I remember that devastated feeling, of he doesn’t care about me, he never thinks of me and so on and then thinking, I always remember his birthday and special days, so why doesn’t he remember mine!
On moving to Turkey I thought things would change that he would remember these special days and I wouldn’t feel crushed or end up having a argument with him, over why he didn’t remember.
But I was wrong the same still happened and it was heartbreaking.
My husband isn’t being ignorant, which I soon discovered after talking to many other women, it’s just that birthday’s and westernised days like mothers day, mothers day etc are just not really celebrated and add that to fact he is a Man! Its makes it harder for him to get the concept and remember the dates!
I have never know my husbands family to call to wish him happy birthday or for him to call his Mother on Mothers day. The reason is these concepts of these special days are new in the Turkish Culture.
Maybe my husband should have tried harder to remember these days and made an effort for me and trust me he did pay for the times he did forget! There is no excuse for not remembering and it’s important your other half accepts your traditions and cultures are well. It just took a while for it to sink in how these days really did matter!
Another thing you won’t find is card shops in Turkey unless it’s run by an expat or you may find cards at the stationary shop, but the quality is normally very poor. Wrapping paper and the like are also found at the stationary shop though most shops offer free wrapping service.
Birthday’s in Turkey are becoming more popular kids want parties, cakes and presents so I think the trend is growing and it won’t be long before card shops are popping up around the country. And you will always find yummy cakes at the bakery’s in Turkey.
After 5 years of marriage and 8 years together finally my darling husband has got round to understanding these days, making an effort at Christmas and for my birthday, it’s just taken a bit of training, but he’s finally got the hang of things!!!
So don’t be to hard on your man if he forgets or doesn’t get your Birthday right, give him time he will learn.
What is your experience of Birthdays in Turkey?
© 2014 – 2015, Kerry Arslan. All rights reserved.